Chance
by 100FACES
Summary: When tragedy strikes Casey is the only one who knows the truth...As depression begins to consume her it's up to Munch to help her make it through. But then something else happens, and for once it's intentional, and yet quite possibly, dissasterous. R&R JC
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Law and Order SVU, if I did I wouldn't be wasting my time writing fan fiction, instead I'd be making Elliot kiss Olivia. insert evil laugh here

"You're drunk. All of you," Munch muttered, but Casey noticed that he was hiding a smile, as if he was enjoying the situation. She wasn't exactly sober but still had a clear enough mind. Olivia and Elliot were giggling, which concerned Munch in a way. They had to be truly drunk in order to make such noises.

"You love, him, admit it," Elliot was saying. Casey overheard. She knew that they were all drunk, even Munch, ever so slightly. It was Olivia's birth day, so it gave them all an excuse to let loose a little. Although in some cases letting loose a little meant a lot, as was in the case of the birth day girl. But no one complained, in fact they seemed pleased with themselves for planning a party and making Olivia smile, even if she was under the influence.

"Shhh, Elliot!" Olivia shot back. Something about the two best friends, Olivia and Elliot, made them act like small children when they were drunk. No one really understood it.

Fin and Beach were talking quietly and kept one making tentative glances at Olivia and Elliot. Meanwhile Porter and Olivia's brother seemed to be the most awkward of the bunch, unsure of where their places were with the gang. Casey's place was Olivia's best female friend, but she wasn't about to get in the way of Olivia's best male friend, especially because if she did she'd probably end up just as drunk as them.

"Well, everything seems to be going well, I think I'll make my leave now," Munch said.

"It's only 10, why are you headed home so early?" Casey questioned.

"Well seeing as I still have a full day of work tomorrow I do need my beauty sleep," Munch replied. "Can't allow a beautiful face like mine to be ruined, now can we?"

Casey smirked. "Alright then, leave me all alone."

"You won't be alone, don't worry, you've got a bunch of drunken lunatics to keep you company."

"Very funny. Bye then," she replied feeling oddly defeated. She looked at Olivia and Elliot, it was official, she was going to have to join them, even if it did mean being hung over.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Spill, Casey, is there a new man in your life?" Olivia questioned.

"Olivia, it's 2 o'clock, I should probably head home."

"Honey, you're way too drunk to be driving," Melinda said. "You're going to have to stay here with us."

"Of course, I should have seen that coming."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Munch glanced around the squadroom. No one seemed particularily happy with the work that they had to do. Of course he wasn't any different, he was just pleased that he hadn't gotten so drunk that he was hung over.

"I need some air," he muttered.

"Don't we all?" Elliot said bitterly. Munch ignored him and returned to his work. He'd left the earliest out of anyone, in fact he'd gone before Cragen and Melinda had even got there. That had to make a person feel old. He sighed and twirled his pen around his desk. The day was almost over, soon enough he could finally head home.

When the clock finally did strike the time to leave he headed out quickly, which didn't really surprise anyone. He headed to a bar in his area, eager for a drink before he went to sleep. He had to join the low-lifes of the world and drink away his bitterness.

It wasn't exactly a classy bar but it certainly wasn't run down either. He seated himself at the bar and ordered a beer. A bell rung, indicating that someone had entered the bar. He didn't turn around to see who was, but was merely surprised when they approached them.

"Feeling lonely?" it sounded somewhat seductive, whoever it was certainly couldn't be talking to him. "Depressed? Defeated? Idiotic-

"What are you doing here Casey?" he asked as soon as he recognized her joking tone.

"Drowning my sorrows, I take it it's the same reason for you?"

"Not exactly, I just like to take on the superhero role of 'drunking old man' when no one I know is around."

"Ah, of course."

"So really, Case' what are you doing here?"

"I come here every so often when I lose a case," she replied looking wistfully around.

"Mmm, I see. Well, it seems a bit out of your way, why aren't you getting drunk in some classy bar in your lawyer neighborhood."

"The only thing close to a bar in my neighborhood is the lesbian strip club, and I only go there on special occasions," she replied winking.

Munch took a sip of his beer. Casey ordered a beer herself. She didn't even have to explain to Munch that she wasn't the type who drank fruity little drinks.

"I thought you lived in a lawyer neighborhood, how come the closest thing to a bar that you have is a strip club?"

"Like you said, it's a lawyer's neighborhood. What did you expect?"

Munch chuckled. He wanted to reach out and tuck a stray strang of hair behind Casey's ear, just to touch her really. There was something about her that made him smile, something more than just her sense of humor. He should of, could of stayed at Olivia's party a little longer. He should have stayed with Casey, but he'd managed to stop himself from doing so, fearing what he might say if they got him drunk.

He got up to leave, but Casey stopped him. "Wait, where are you going? You have no excuse to leave me this time."

"Perhaps you're right," he replied and sat back down. Casey smiled at him, and unable to resist, he brushed the strand of hair away from her face. They just stared at each other for a few moments, both unsure of what to say next. "I really should go home…"

"That's…fine, I'm almost done my drink anyways."

"Bye, Casey," he said softly.

She held his gaze for a moment before replying. "Bye."

Author's note: I don't want to be a review whore, but tell me what you thought and if I should continue.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Yeah I'm still saving up to so I can buy SVU, until then… I don't claim to own anything except this story line.

"Who do you like, Mrs. Novak?"

"You're drunk again, aren't you?"

"I'm in my 40s now, I have an excuse."

Casey smiled at her friend. "It's true; you're really an old woman now aren't you?"

"Mmm," Olivia said. She was starting to grow concerned for her friend though. It seemed that lately more than ever Casey was distracted. It used to be that if something was bothering Casey she would play baseball. "Stop avoiding my question. You must like someone; you've been so quiet lately. Heck, you barely even got drunk at my party, what was that about?"

Casey smirked. "So sorry to have offended you."

Olivia sighed. Perhaps Casey didn't like anyone; perhaps Casey's problem was something completely different. But Olivia wasn't done prying yet. She was a detective, she wasn't about to give up until she had the answer. "Really, Casey, are you okay, honey?"

"I'm fine, 'Liv…it's just…"

"_Just _what?"

"I think I like, and this is going to sound strange…but I think I like _Munch_."

Olivia snorted but stopped herself from laughing. "That's uh…that's nice."

"Real supportive friend you are."

"Well, here's an idea, why don't you just tell him?" Olivia questioned. "I mean other than the fact that he's an old man who would probably laugh, and think you were joking if you told him that."

"Thanks for the advice," she replied sarcastic as always.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Cap'! Where's 'Liv? Did you give her another sick day?" Elliot asked.

Cragen shrugged. "I'm not sure, she must be late."

"C'mon Captain, you and I both know Liv's usually the first one here in the morning. So what gives?"

"I don't know."

Fin, Beach and Munch all seemed to want to ask Cragen questions. But after hearing from Elliot and Cragens conversation that Cragen really didn't know what was going on they all unconsciously decided to leave the issue alone. Olivia was probably just sick. That was all, right?

"Hey, Case'," Munch said as Casey entered the squad room. She didn't respond, looking too worried and frantic to bother.

"Where's Cragen?" she asked.

"In his office…" Munch said as if the answer were obvious. He paused just to look at her face before she could notice. She looked beautiful as always…yet he could see how genuinely worried she looked. He had to bit his tongue to stop himself from saying something stupid. "Casey, what's wrong?"

"It's Olivia, she's in the hospital. Somebody poisoned her." Tears filled up in Casey's eyes, but before Munch could rise to comfort her the other detectives were already there. Beach gave Casey a little hug. Munch kicked himself inside; he should have been the one to do that.

"Casey, who did this to 'Liv?" Fin questioned. He looked like he was ready to kill. And it was certain that everyone would have his back if he did so. Such was the nature of the unit. Such was the reason that everyone felt like they'd lost a sister. They were more like a close-nit family than co-workers.

"I don't know. I need to tell Cragen though," she explained before breaking out of Beach's hug and sprinting over to Cragen's office.

Elliot sat speechless, staring at his desk. For a moment it didn't look as if he was going to react at all before he got up and left. Everyone knew without a doubt that he was going to see Olivia, he didn't have to tell Cragen, he'd understand. The only problem now was figuring out which hospital Olivia was in.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I'll stay here," Beach offered. Everyone agreed. He was the newbie-the least close to Olivia, it was only right that he stood behind to hold fort.

Elliot had somehow managed to find the hospital Olivia was in and was already there by the time everyone else got there. Munch looked down at Olivia who was in a hospital gown. She managed to smile, which amazed Munch.

He gave her shoulder a little squeeze. "We're here for you, 'Liv," he said softly. She thanked him in a quiet voice.

"I'll be fine, guys, really. Don't worry about me."

"Bullshit," Elliot said. "Somebody tried to kill you 'Liv and even if physically you're fine I know this is gonna hurt you emotionally," but then his voice grew softer. "I mean to say, we love you and are here for you, you don't have to pretend to be strong in front of us."

"But I want to be…"

Casey couldn't take it anymore and walked out. There were too many people, she just wanted some peace. But her absence failed to go unnoticed. "One sec, 'Liv, I'm gonna go check up on Casey," Munch said. He left in pursuit of the lawyer.

"Casey, wait up!"

She turned at the sound of his voice. It was sweet of him to worry about her but didn't want to distract him from comforting Olivia. "I'm fine, Munch; I just need to be alone for a minute."

"That's too bad, because I'm going to follow you anyways."

"No, go back to Olivia, she needs you."

"Olivia has Elliot, Fin and Cragen to deal with right now; I doubt my presence will be missed."

Casey sighed but didn't complain anymore. They walked for a moment in silence. "I love Olivia, too, Casey, don't worry I'm here for you-okay?"

She smiled at him. She wanted to say something, anything to explain how much that simple offer meant to her. But somehow she could only come up with one word, "Thanks."

Author's note: Well tell me your thoughts on this story. I warn you though, I shall be a wicked author and make this story slightly sad. Or very sad, depending on if I'm in a good mood. Muahahaha. Anyways if you guys got any suggestions tell me cux I'm all ears.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Last time I said I owned law and order SVU my psychiatrist said I was crazy, so I'm not doing that again.

This time only Casey could spare time to visit Olivia. The hospital smelled sterile and almost too clean. It was making Casey feel uneasy. She entered Olivia's room and saw Olivia was watching television. "Hi," she said, smiling up at Casey. "I swear I don't usually watch CSI, I was just bored."

"It's alright, it happens to the best of us," Casey replied. "So will you be returning today then? You seem much healthier," she said in an almost too nice voice. Behind it Olivia heard some worry. There was a question hidden there: Why are you still here, Olivia?

"I don't know when I'll be returning, sweetie."

Casey sighed. "Has something else happened?"

Olivia flicked off the TV. She looked at the palms of her hands instead of Casey as she responded, "Yes, there has been another incident. Someone sent in poisoned chocolate, with a note saying 'I haven't given up'. And I'm sure you guys are trying your hardest to find this guy, but the thing is we have leads. It could be anyone who I've put away over the years…and I…"

"We're going to find this guy, 'Liv, I swear to God I will kick his ass when we do."

"It's not in your hands anymore, Case'. They handed the case to narcotics and homicide to figure out. Whoever did this was smart though. They used a common poison, Bleach. There are just no leads, nothing. I don't even know what food it was the poisoned me."

"What about the chocolates? There must have been finger prints or handwriting that you can trace?"

"No, this guy used a computer and typed his message and wore gloves."

Casey sighed, unable to look directly in Olivia's eyes she looked about the room for something to focus on. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"I'm…saying that I won't be coming home for a long time. Once I'm physically well they're putting me in Witness Protection."

"Where? Where are they going to put you? How will I see you?"

"Casey honey, you replaced someone because they had to go into Witness Protection, and in all honesty if it were possible I would have made her stay. But I couldn't, and I got something good out of it, I got you. I don't know where I'm going and it's too much of a risk to contact you. I'm sorry…but you know it's for the best. I couldn't see any good in it when Alex had to be taken away but now I understand. And I know you will one day, too."

She didn't want to cry in front of her friend so Casey wiped away the tears that were forming in her eyes as quickly as possible. "Please, stay, we'll get this guy… you can't leave us, the unit needs you."

Olivia looked at Casey's face, remembering her experience with Alex and knowing how hard this was going to be on Casey-at first. But whoever replaced her would fill the void in Casey's life, of that Olivia was sure. Just as Casey had replaced Alex, Olivia would be replaced as well. And somehow-if it were possible, it was all for the best. Still she hated seeing Casey broken like that. "Case' recently Alex got out of the program, she's back, and don't worry because one day I will be too. But if you want I can give you Alex's number. I think you'd like her, and it would be so cute, if SVUs two ADAs were friends."

"Thanks, Olivia. If it were up to me I wouldn't let you go…just promise me you'll come back, promise me you won't leave me alone," she said softly while abandoning her sarcastic domineer, and then for a fleeting instant she laughed.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing," she replied, which was true, for her laughter seemed less a happy thing and more a moment of insanity.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day Casey called in sick. She wasn't able to face everyone and tell them Olivia was dead. Least of all Elliot, who she was sure would fall apart just as she had. Of course Elliot would tell Olivia's brother, who would tell Porter, and they'd all end up drinking away their sorrows together in a bar, an idea which Casey didn't much like.

She didn't approve of lying to them either, which she knew she couldn't avoid doing for long. By that time Casey figured Olivia's face was probably already surfacing on the covers of newspapers. Elliot would already think Olivia was dead. Of course, until Olivia came back Casey knew she ought to act as if Olivia was dead as well, but it was too hard. She had to tell someone, anyone. However Olivia had been her best friend, the only person she ever confided in, so who on earth was she supposed to trust enough to tell?

She knew that eventually she was going to have to talk to someone. She couldn't hide pretending to be sick forever, however much the idea was tempting her.

She looked at her clock, it was already 12:30, time for lunch break at the 1-6th. She went over to her bed, a comfortable queen sized bed with a fluffy white duvet. She flopped onto it and closed her eyes, soon enough she was drifting off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Someone was shaking her. She woke up quickly and nearly screamed. "Relax, it's only me," Munch said. Casey was still shaking.

"How did you get into my house?"

"By use of a magical device known as a key," he said, then nearly slapped himself, now was not the time to be sarcastic. "Sorry…I just, Olivia gave me the key to your apartment in her will, which doesn't really make sense, but I figured you would understand."

"So you know then?"

"Her death has been plastered all over the newspaper. Elliot's going to pick up her ashes today, I offered to because I wasn't sure he should be driving in his state…but obviously he refused my offer."

"Her ashes?"

"Yeah, it was in her will that she wanted to me cremated…" he trailed, seeming to go into a distant world. For a sliver of an instant Casey thought he was going to cry.

"Cremated…" It was laughable, really, yet brilliant. The government hands over all their cigarette ashes and everyone thinks it's Olivia. She wondered where Olivia was now. Had she already been given a new job? Was she making friends? Would she ever come back?

"Why do you think she gave me the key to your apartment?" Munch asked, suddenly.

"I'm not sure," Casey lied. Secretly though her heart swelled with warmth. Olivia had been the only one to know Casey liked Munch and Casey was sure this was Olivia's way of getting them together. "Did she leave anything for me?"

"Of course, Casey, she loved you a lot," he replied. _Loves_, she wanted to correct, but bit her tongue instead. "She left you a bunch of pictures and her gun."

"Can I legally accept her gun?"

"You're the lawyer here, how should I know? Anyways, whether or not it's legal, I have the stuff she wanted you to have here." He got up and ushered her to follow him. The box awaited her in her living room. She and Munch sat down on the couch, both understanding that now was the time to look at it's contents.

She opened up the box and lifted up a stack of pictures. Some were recent, some were old. The first one was of them at Olivia's party, the second of the new years party…Olivia was smiling in all of them, as was Casey. Casey pressed the pictures close to her heart and tried to breath in the happiness she'd once felt when all those pictures had been taken.

When she could no longer take it she took the next item out of the box. It was one of those cheap silver coloured necklaces that you could buy at the dollar store, but to Casey it was priceless. 'BFF' it said on half of a heart that she was sure connected to an identical necklace that Olivia had to have.

She put on, vowing that no matter how childish it looked she would wear it until the say Olivia returned. And finally she pulled up the gun. Attached to it was a note.

It read: _Because years on the job have taught me that an sexy young lawyer must protect herself ;). Be careful, and don't kill anyone with this. _

_PS. I'm just joking, I know you wouldn't kill anyone, and hopefully you'll never have to use this gun, honey. Just keep it in your house to remind you of me. _

_PPS. This uses plastic bullets, so I think you can find a loophole that will allow you to keep it. _

_PPPS. I'm sorry if this seems childish._

Casey smiled and put the gun down. Years of working with cops taught her that Olivia had just given her an intimate possession. She almost smiled, but couldn't bring herself to it.

She began to shake, feeling so utterly alone. She barely noticed when tears started spilling out or cared that her make-up was running. The only thing she did notice was Munch put his arms around her.

He kissed her on the top of the head. "It'll be okay…I miss her, too." She couldn't help but sob into his chest, grateful for his comfort. He held onto her overwhelmed by his own grief and his need to comfort Casey. And yet somehow it wasn't enough. Somehow it was never enough to just be the friend who's shoulder you cry on, especially when you're crying, too. He wanted Olivia to marvously spring back to life. He wanted to be happy and to see Casey smile. Because he could never be happy holding Casey so close to his heart when it was because of her best friend's death.

Finally she let go. "I'm sorry…" she muttered.

"It's fine." He looked into her eyes, searching for the old sparkle that had once been there, but only found demons, dancing away. "Olivia's in a better place, now. I know it sounds stupid and religious, but it's true. She must be, a saint like her," he said trying to be comforting.

But Casey wasn't so sure. Wherever Olivia was now, it certainly wasn't heaven. It mightn't even be in America for all Casey knew.

"Are you sure?"

Author's note: Hokay, so tell me what you thought. I know, what you're thinking: you want to review this story because reviewers are sexy, am I right? Of course I'm right.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: Well, to the few people who (hopefully) enjoy this story I have written the next chapter for you, so enjoy!

Disclaimer: Hmm, should I answer this sarcastically? nah. Let's just say I don't own it, and leave it at that.

It was dark outside. If you looked closely enough, you might even have been able to spot a star. The moon was waxing and shown iridescently from its spot up in the sky. It was also quite cold, all of the sudden. Casey found all this strange enough, but nevertheless she sat outside on the small balcony of her apartment.

It was cold enough that she had to rap a blanket around her thin body. The wind wasn't making matters any better as it pierced her skin, but nevertheless she stayed outside, for some inexplicable reason.

She would not, could not have heard his knocking on her door. But she'd half expected it anyways. She hadn't been at work in over a week, too numbed by recent events. She kept on asking if there were any leads on Olivia's 'killer', but got no answers. It seemed like everyone had given up on Olivia, everyone except for her.

His knocking grew louder, but she couldn't hear it. And if she could have heard it, she probably would have ignored it anyways.

But, there was still the fact that he had a key. And on a hunch, he assumed Casey was just ignoring his knocks, and let himself in. Her apartment was dark, and for a while he assumed she might be sleeping. He didn't like having to break into her house, but he had to check up on her. She could have been dead for all he knew, since she'd been avoiding work for so long.

Eventually her saw her out on her balcony and went to join her.

"Hi," he said simply.

She looked up at him, giving him a thin smile and managed to say 'hi' back.

"You need to come back to work."

"I don't care if I get fired."

"Yeah well, I do. Fin does. Elliot does, too. So does Cragen. We all care, and we all don't want to see some newbie lawyer replace you."

"I don't care Munch, I just don't care," she gulped. "I miss her, Munch. She was all I had. She's my best friend…and I mean, I can't just go and replace her. I have no one. I haven't dated anyone in so long, because who wants to be with a sex crimes lawyer? "

"I do." He said it before he could stop himself.

For a while she didn't replay, and Munch was unsure if she'd even heard him. The silence enveloped him, the truth sinking in at last; she did not and would not, ever want to be with some old man. With some ugly old guy when she was young and beautiful. He sat down beside her, ignoring his humiliation.

At last she turned towards him, the blanket rapped even tighter around her body. Her strawberry blonde hair was caught by the wind and Munch found himself tempted to brush it out of her face. "I…"

"It's fine, you don't have to say anything. I understand," he muttered.

"No, I don't think you do understand," she replied, then seeing his blank face she continued, trying to be brave. "Olivia gave you the key to my apartment for a reason, John." She looked at him meaningfully, trying to convey, without actually saying it, what she had felt all along. She liked Munch. It was just that simple. "I don't know if I miss heard you, and I think that I'm past the point of caring, really. It's just that I like you, I have a long time, and I want to be with you, too."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" he asked softly.

"I…well, you can understand, can't you? How terrified I was of humiliating myself in front of you?"

"Yeah," he replied, a smirk beginning to form on his face. "I think I can." He leaned forward, towards her. He kissed her. It wasn't something passionate, or deep, it was all they'd ever really needed.

"Will you leave me, John?" she asked straightforwardly.

He smiled at her. "No…no I won't. I think now that alls said I done, I can't leave you. I can't let you out of my sight, ever. I think Olivia intended it to be that way."

She reached out for his hand. "I don't know if I'll ever see Olivia again. Honestly, I don't pray anymore, I stopped believing in God a long time ago. All I know is that for some reason, I don't want to lose you, too. And…right now, I need you. Right now I need you to give me something, so that I can never really lose you."

He looked at her questioningly, even though he thought he was beginning to understand what she was getting at. She surprised him by coming over and sitting on his lap. The blanket fell off her shoulders and she surprised him again as she was only wearing a thin tank top and boxers. She rapped her legs and arms around him. This time, she kissed him passionately.

He embraced her, kissing her back. Part of him told him to be the voice of logic. On some level, he knew they should have stop. But he couldn't bring himself to stop. He couldn't do that to Casey, not her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She awoke in her house, but most definitely on her bed. She was on her stone cold floor, completely naked. She could most definitely say that this was not what she'd expected. Munch lay beside, very much in the same predicament as she.

She moved in closer to him, trying to get warmer. She could have just gotten up and fetched a blanket, but instead found herself unable to ruin the moment.

He looked young when he slept. Certainly, he looked much younger than Casey had ever seen him. She kissed him on his forehead and he woke up, or perhaps he'd just been pretending to sleep all along. He smiled and rapped his arms around her shivering body. A part of him wanted to know how it had all happened so fast. One moment he was admitting to wanting to be with Casey, the next he _was_ with Casey, naked.

It should have been carved into a tree somewhere, Casey and Munch went all the way. It should have happened a long time ago, when they were both young enough to still enjoy carving messages into trees. But it didn't. And yet somehow, it didn't seem to matter. All that matter was that they were together now, as they should have been all along.

The room shown with the mornings glow, for it was a fresh new day, a fresh new start to everything. But something else had changed. Whereas once there had only been two people, now there were three.

Author's note: I know, you're scared right now, you've just been faced with a story where Casey gets intentionally pregnant. It's a strange and unatural occurance for the fanfiction world, I know. But I just really wanted to make Munch a father, lol, I'm sorry, it was really tempting, I mean can you blame me?


End file.
